Mari Chatmas
by iwritebadbutdealwithit98
Summary: Chat Noir plays Santa, jumping around Paris to give his friends gifts.


Is it still a Christmas short if it's 3 days after Christmas? I got really exhausted for the past few days for some reason, but at least I finished it before New Years! I'm so tired... this is probably trash but I'm proud of my trash. Belated Merry Christmas guys :)

Adrien sat impatiently on his bed. Wasn't it supposed to be 'the most wonderful time of the year'? As usual, his father hadn't failed to ruin high spirits. Christmas just wasn't the same without his mother.

"Isn't this a good thing?" Plagg interrupted Adrien's angry thoughts, "Didn't you have something in mind for tonight?"

Adrien lifted his head to smile in the affirmative. His friends had all exchanged gifts on the last day of school, assuming they wouldn't see much of each other over the break. Adrien had told them, with a sly grin, he had things for them but wanted to give them on Christmas Day. When asked how - especially with a father like his - he just winked and told them he'd have a friend deliver them. He told them it'd be signed under the friend's name but they'd know it when they saw it. They all giggled, was he talking about Santa? How sweet.

"Thanks for reminding me, Plagg. I'd almost forgotten the only good thing that would come from today- or tonight." Adrien glanced at the clock on his computer, 12 o'clock sharp.

It was go time.

"Plagg! Claws out!"

Plagg muttered in the few seconds before being sucked into the ring, "I never understood why you shout if this is a secre-"

Chat Noir smiled as he picked up a large bag from the floor. With it, he jumped through the window and ran across the rooftops.

First stop was Alya's, it'd be wise to get her out of the way before he was spotted by someone with a camera, and eventually seen on the internet by Alya. He didn't want her to expect his visit.

He landed on the balcony as lightly as he could and peeked through the glass doors. No one had noticed him, but everyone was up. He pulled the bag off of his shoulder and grabbed a medium-sized, brightly wrapped, box from inside. He placed the package near the door and left quickly.

After leaving Nino's gift at his front door, because he didn't seem to have a balcony, Chat made his way to Marinette's.

He had just set the present on the outdoor table on Marinette's roof and turned to leave, when-

"Chat Noir?"

Chat froze, he turned around slowly and tried to act natural. "Oh! Heeeyy, Princess!"

"What are you doing here-" the box on the table Marinette's eye. Chat's eyes shifted between the box and Marinette's face.

Chat rubbed the back of his head, "U-uh… just being a delivery guy."

Marinette walked over to the package, admiring the flawless wrapping and pretty patterns on the paper. She stopped to pick it up, then made a face. Chat looked worried.

Marinette snorted, then giggled, "Signed 'Santa _Claws'_? _Really?_ "

Chat was flooded with relief, he grinned, "Can't have a Merry Christmas without your good share of puns, right?"

"I beg to differ…" Marinette crossed her shivering arms and strolled closer to Chat, "But this is all really sweet of you. You must be cold."

"Looks like you're the one who's cold, Princess." Chat leaned closer to Marinette and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Wait a minute… are you the 'friend' Adrien was talking about? Are you delivering on his behalf?" It made sense… especially considering how much Adrien knew about Chat Noir.

Chat laughed nervously, "That's me!" He pondered for a moment, "Anyway… I have to go, and-"

"No, wait! I want to give you something." Luckily she enjoyed sewing and knitting new things, even if she didn't have anyone to give them to.

Chat Noir furrowed his eyebrows, "But I didn't get you anything…" And she'd already given him a hat. A nice, warm hat. He wasn't wearing it right now, she'd probably have recognized it.

Marinette called from inside her room, "That's ok, you deserve a gift. It's not about whether I get one in return."

Marinette came back out with a green scarf. She came closer to Chat Noir and wrapped it around him. His eyes sparkled as he watched her intently.

She finished adjusting the scarf and stood back to look at Chat. He looked down at the scarf and held one of the tips to observe it. "I know scarves tend to look similar, but this looks a lot like Adrien's scarf."

"Oh…" Marinette smiled shyly, "Yeah, I made that one too. But don't tell him, ok? I don't ever want to forget the look on his face when he told me it was from his dad." Marinette clasped her hands and closed her eyes fondly.

"Marinette?" First name basis?

"Yeah?" Marinette looked up.

His eyes looked a little watery, "You're a _true_ princess."

* * *

It was after hours in Beaugrenelle Paris mall. Two workers in one particular store were chatting excitedly about Christmas plans. It so happened they were a young couple who had plans together. What one of them didn't know, was that her boyfriend had gotten a pair of promise necklaces.

The boyfriend, a light brunette with saggy blue eyes, was changed out of his nutcracker holiday getup and was taking out a small wrapped box.

The girlfriend, a dark brunette with large, vibrant eyes, was folding her elf costume.

He told her, "I can't wait to get out of here when we're done with cleanup. There's something I've been dying to give you."

"Well, don't spoil it!" She laughed.

A new voice - rough and tired - disrupted from behind them, "I'm sorry to spoil it, then."

The couple turned to look at their boss, who stood gravely. A bearer of bad news, no doubt. What was it? A lecture for 'bad performance'? A cut in their check?

"I'm afraid I'm gonna need the two of you to work over-time. You can go home and rest until 7 o'clock in the morning, by then I'll need you back here." Their boss coughed, though it seemed forced.

The girlfriend stayed quiet, but her boyfriend tried to protest, "But, you said-"

" _I know what I said_. Things are different now, Paris has heroes. Some families go out on Christmas day to have fun. I'll need you two to dress up as Ladybug and Chat Noir. With some last minute signs out on the streets, kids will come and want to take pictures with you, and we can use that to sell merchandise, BIG TIME!"

They both stayed quiet this time. It sounded far-fetched, but what were they supposed to say?

"And hey.." He wasn't finished, "If we make enough profit, it'll give you that extra pocket money you can use on the little date you go on tonight. No, problem, right? Alright, Merry Christmas, guys."

The couple stared solemnly at the ground. The boyfriend fought back tears as his hand trembled over the cover of the box in his hand. "I was planning on other things other than coming back here in a few hours… but, I guess I'll give this to you _now_."

He lifted the cover. Two necklaces, joined together as two halves of a heart to make one.

Two akumas came fluttering into the heart shaped pendant. The couple agreed in unison to be allies of Hawkmoth. They broke the heart in half, and the darkness enveloped them.

* * *

Marinette wasn't sure what to do, Chat Noir was suddenly leaning closer to her face, holding her chin softly.

"Marinette…" He breathed, "Can I… kiss-"

A soft melody of a music box - with a sinister hint to them - played in the distance, followed by a large explosion. The music continued - it was Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy - and the explosion again.

"That must be an akuma!" Marinette straightened herself again, after being crouched low in response to the explosions.

Chat pulled out his staff. "That's my cue," he turned once more to Marinette, "Can we talk later?"

Marinette noticed the sincerity in Chat's eyes, "S-sure…"

He smiled with a nod, then left.

Marinette turned to Tikki, "Tikki, spots on!"

Ladybug arrived at the scene shortly after Chat Noir.

Chat, she noticed, looked a bit annoyed. "What's the matter, Kitty?" She asked, as the two of them waited for the smoke to clear in the building in front of them, pondering their next move.

"This kinda interrupted something important…" He focused on the ground below them.

"Oh? Was it a girl?" She teased.

"Yes, actually," this time he looked at her, "Why? Are you jealous?" He winked.

"Yeah, she's a lucky girl. I'm happy for you, Chat."

Chat blushed. These girls in his life… they just- WHY WAS LIFE SO HARD?!

A short, middle-aged man ran out of the building. The building had taken multiple hits from the inside with all of the explosions, the entire thing was finally collapsing.

"Somebody help!" the man screamed, " _Please_! They're after me!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir rushed down to the man.

"What's going on?" Ladybug touched the man's shoulder.

Before he could answer, the slow jingle of the music box grew closer. Two figures appeared out of the rubble of the had-been shopping-mall.

The man just pointed at them and ran.

The first to emerge from the smoke was a tall man, who moved slowly, and robotically. His clothing resembled that of a prince. His limbs looked like toy parts attached by nails. his nose looked like it was glued on. His eyes were droopy, the whites of his eyes were black instead. His iris' were small and there dark smudged circles around his eyes. His hair was white and wild. His jaw was lined with joints and separate parts. He lacked lips, leaving his teeth bare.

His partner's large eyes could be seen glowing from behind the smoke, she had no pupils, just small dots that were her pupils. She revealed herself completely, a green costume with candy cane tights and sleeves. A green stocking cap on her head, with a jingle bell at the end. A wide, grotesque smile was seemingly carved permanently into her face.

Ladybug and Chat Noir cringed at the terrifying atrocities in front of them.

Chat laughed impatiently, "Two akumas?! I wonder what names thing one and thing two go by."

"I am Nutcracker," Nutcracker's voice sounded like an old, damaged recording, he moved sporadically, his arms twitching backward and forward as his head spun and locked from side to side.

"And you can call _me_ , Cruelf!" Cruelf jumped energetically, her voice high and rough.

"Look, guys," Chat joked, "It's Christmas, can't we all just get along and call it a day?"

Triggered.

Nutcracker opened his horrid mouth wide, releasing a black beam at Ladybug and Chat Noir. They dodged it and it struck a building behind them, inevitably turning the wall and most of the inside into crumbles.

"Woah, that guy's got bad breath," Chat spun his staff readily in his right hand.

Cruelf pulled a large sledgehammer out of nowhere and leapt towards Chat. Chat swung as Cruelf jumped over him. She ran off, forcing Chat Noir to chase after her.

Nutcracker took another shot at Ladybug.

Ladybug ducked, "Watch your mouth!" She launched her yo-yo at Nutcracker. Missed.

Chat Noir found himself in a dark alley. Luckily, he had night vision, but he still had to scan his surroundings carefully. He looked in front of him, behind him, he glanced upwards. Just in time, he lifted his staff and blocked Cruelf's attack.

Cruelf swung vigorously, Chat kept up the pace. Cruelf suddenly jumped upward and kangaroo-kicked him in the chest. He fell backward on the concrete. Cruelf pinned him down by standing on his arms, she lifted the hammer above the side of his head.

"It's sleepy time, Kitty." She started to swing when Chat lifted his legs and kicked her from behind. She tumbled forward onto the ground above Chat's head. Cruelf stood up and made some distance between them. She reached into a dark green bag and threw a barrel of monkeys at Chat.

Chat screamed as they came to life and scattered all over his body, biting him. He tried sweeping them off, but they had formed a link around him. Some monkey's tied around his ankles, tripping him. He fell onto a toy train track, the monkeys fastened to the track. A toy train tooted on the opposite side of the ring of track.

Chat Noir scoffed, "What's that thing gonna do? Tickle me?"

Cruelf tossed a metalic public trash can in front of the train's path. Once it had charged through, ripping the trash can in half, Chat began kicking and struggling.

"Ladybug!" Chat screamed as the train gained on him.

Ladybug glanced in his direction and took it all in. She made a leap in front of the train track, Nutcracker spat another attack at her. When he missed, it demolished the train instead.

"You look like you're having a hard time," Ladybug ran up to Chat Noir to pull the nibbling monkeys off of him, Cruelf dug around in her bag.

"You too…" Chat looked at Nutcracker, who was making a creepy, slow approach.

"Wanna trade?" Ladybug helped him to his feet.

"Sure, I'll take a _crack_ at Nutcracker."

"Ugh, just get out of my face already…"

Chat sprung towards Nutcracker, he noticed his attack was similar to Cataclysm. He most likely could take a hit like Cataclysm without dying, and he was slow enough that Chat might have a chance to take him out.

Ladybug became frustrated. Cruelf was fast. _Lighting_ fast. She dodged and returned attacks faster than Ladybug could form a good plan. Cruelf grabbed a ribbon and ran like the wind.

Ladybug followed. Cruelf stopped in front of the large Christmas tree near the Eiffel tower and flung the ribbon around it, and pulling the ribbon off quickly.

Suddenly, the tree's layers begun rotated in different directions, eventually moving forward towards Ladybug. It propelled forward like a giant spinning top. The tree destroyed everything in its path, Ladybug had to stop it, but she couldn't afford to use Lucky Charm yet. She wrapped her yo- yo around and dragged her feet. It was better than nothing. After a long trip of being run into things, the tree slowed down. But to what avail? Cruelf threw a snowball maker at a hill of snow. It spun around, creating snowballs. The snowballs rolled around and grew in size. They stacked on top of each other. Living snowmen.

Ladybug tried striking the snowmen with her yo-yo, only to watch them repair themselves.

Cruelf cackled. It didn't end there. She began chucking more and more things out of her bag. From behind Ladybug, came a teddy bear chomping with human teeth. In another corner were Barbie dolls, carrying bottles of lipgloss and mascara, which dripped acid on the ground.

While Ladybug was distracted, a snowman grabbed her from behind, and the teddy bear bit her leg. Ladybug howled. The Barbies climbed up Ladybug and hovered the acidic makeup over her face. Chat Noir's staff knocked the Barbies off of Ladybug's face, barely missing her.

Chat Noir jumped on the snowman's head and it let go of Ladybug. She kicked and the Teddy bear went flying.

Chat Noir looked at her breathlessly, "Listen, you can take Nutcracker back, he's _nuts_! I can't take it anymore!"

"I agree!" Ladybug started making her way back to Nutcracker but stopped short. "We can't keep going like this, Chat. Neither of us are getting anywhere with these two. We need to think…"

Chat shrugged, "When in doubt, _"

"-throw a cat at it?"

"No! I meant Lucky Charm!"

"Oh, right…"

With a shout and a yo-yo to the sky, Ladybug caught a bag of gumballs.

Chat Noir looked sarcastically relieved, "Ah! To get us out of our _sticky_ situation."

"You've got just the right idea, Chat. I'm gonna use a little something I learned from a prank that was pulled on me at the beginning of the school year."

"Someone pulled a prank on My Lady? How dare they?"

"Yeah…" Ladybug started chewing on multiple pieces of gum, Nutcracker and Cruelf were also meeting up at the moment, "Someone put a piece of chewed gum in my seat…"

Chewed gum? Wait a minute… "Wait, was there some guy you got mad at but they were actually trying to help?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Becau-" before Chat could finish, Ladybug handed him the bag of gum.

"Help me out. Chew on a bunch and then throw it when Nutcrackers mouth is open. I'll take care of Cruelf."

She'd looked over at Cruelf, and noticed that the entire time, she had needed to quickly assemble every toy she used.

"Ladybug, before we go over to them. I noticed they both have necklaces on, it must be-"

"Where the akumas are! Good eye, Kitty!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir ran towards Nutcracker and Cruelf, mouths filled with gum.

Nutcracker opened his mouth wide and charged up, Chat pulled the large glob of gum out of his mouth and flung it at Nutcracker. It landed with a loud, and disgusting sound. Nutcracker struggled as the gum stuck to every corner of his wooden mouth, inside and out.

Ladybug sprinted towards Cruelf before she could reach into her bag. She blew a large bubble and it popped and splatted all over Cruelf's felt hands.

Ladybug and Chat Noir snapped the necklaces off, and one Cataclysm later, two purple butterflies flew out.

After purifying the akumas and the city, and encouraging the couple that as long as they were together they could keep the Christmas spirit even if their boss was doing a terrible thing, Ladybug and Chat Noir gave each other a fist bump.

"What a _sweet_ victory, right, Princess?"

Ladybug nearly choked, but not at the pun, "What did you just call me?" She looked at Chat, who was looking at her strangely.

Chat tugged at the green scarf that was still wrapped around his neck, "I-uh… I remember that gum incident…"

"Huh?!"

"I know you're the one who made the scarf for me. Now I have two scarves of yours. This one, and the blue one."

"... _Adrien?_ " she whispered cautiously.

"... Marinette…"

"Oh my God." She ran up to Chat.

"Um… Merry Christmas?" Ladybug jumped into Chat's arms.

A Christmas miracle, as it were. This was _certainly_ the most wonderful time of the year. A certain dynamic duo was going to be getting their fair share of mistletoe this holiday season.

* * *

*Three versions of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy that I used for inspiration: 1, 2, 3

-Character design rough sketch

^ those are supposed to be links, you'll have to go to my ao3 for them to work: (im not allowed to put the archive website on here, but just type in the archive address and put this at the end: /works/9092656) my username is Mindwriter2000


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